Pet Jokes: 15 Reasons Why Dogs Are Better Than Girlfriends


Dogs will not max out your credit cards.

They do not require any bling-bling besides the collar you pick out for them. They have no use for flowers or cards.  If you buy them toys and treats, which they don’t even expect you to buy, they don’t care if it was bought in the charity shop.

They are very Cheap Dates

Dogs don’t mind to share the left over off your plate.  They don’t expect lobster either and will never ever complain about the lack of your cooking skills
Dogs make the best travelling buddy

Don’t matter where you tell them to sit…they are the best back seat drivers and the best passenger seat companion ever.

They don’t complain about your choice of music or how loud it is. Your dog will not insist on running the air conditioner or the heater and will never tell you to close the window. In fact, they love having the windows down plus they love riding in the back of any old pickup truck. But above all: they understand why it is that you will never, ever stop to ask for direction and they think you are the world’s best driver.

They Like When You Smell Funny

Your dog likes it when you smell strange, even when you smell like another dog. If they smell another dog on you, they don’t go crazy.  They just think: oh that’s interesting, I wonder where he was!

Dogs don’t mind when or why you are late

They are always happy to see you. They always greet you at the door no matter what time of the day or night it is. If you are late your dog will never give out.  In fact, the later you are, the happier they are to see you and the more excitedly you are greeted. They don’t even expect you to call and make excuses for being late! Or to bring flowers when you are.

Dogs do not hate their bodies.

They have no body image issues, they are always in shape.  And if they are not, it takes nothing but a couple of weeks to shape them up.  They don’t spend hours in front of the mirror comparing themselves to others in movies.  They don’t ask you all the time if they look fat or ugly or spotty.

They Don’t Mind uninvited Guests

Dogs love when your friends come over, no matter what time of the day. And they love all of your friends and family.

Dogs like other dogs

Dogs don’t care about the old dogs you had before.  They will forgive you for playing with strange dogs or even with your friend’s dog. If another dog is gorgeous, your dog wont hate it and try to bite it. Also, your dog won’t notice if you call it by another dog’s name.

Dogs don’t have any family issues.

Your dog leaves the nest at 10 weeks old and does not have a crazy mother calling.  Dogs don’t have family whose visits you dread. If your dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper to have them up for adoption or even better, sell them. It is highly unlikely that your dog will outlive you and when your dog gets too old, you are encouraged to put it to sleep

They Don’t Care what way you are looking

Your dog will never think that he deserve a better looking owner.  They Love You Just the Way You Are and aren’t limited by conditions. Your dog thinks that you don’t have flaws and that you’re totally awesome just the way you are. Dogs will love you unconditionally.

Dogs don’t expect you to have manners.

If you fart they want to sniff it and if they fart you think it’s funny.  When you are drunk, your dog will think it’s a game.  They don’t mind if you pee outside, in fact they will know a man has to do what a man has to do.  They will understand it’s got everything to do with territory. Oh, and its forgivable to pee on the floor.

They don’t expect you to keep the house or yourself tidy

Dogs absolutely love it when you leave things lying on the ground. They also want you to leave the toilet seat up so they can drink out of the bowl. It’s ok to take a bath once a month.

They Don’t Talk

Dogs never ever feel the need to talk about your relationship. They accept it just the way it is.  A dog will not wake you up in the middle of a night just to ask, “would you get another dog if I die before you?” Dogs don’t hold grudges and they wholly agree that you have to raise your voice most of the time to get your point across.
Dogs are loyal

Dogs will never try and sleep with your friends.  

Another man will hardly ever steal your dog even if you have a nice dog.

They Enjoy Heavy Petting in Public

Public display of affection is always highly welcome with dogs no matter where or who’s looking.  A dog will be happy for you to put a black stud collar and a leash on him without calling you a pervert and leaving you.  It’s legal to keep a dog chained outside

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